Your Health Matters

Your Health Matters

A Mother's Health Tasks
One of the biggest tasks of the mothering job involves making important health decisions for our family. It's often mothers rather than fathers who become informed on health issues. Mothers make the appointments or purchase the medications and/or health supplements. In addition, food and diet are often at the forefront of every mother's mind. What's for breakfast? Is it going to be that sugary cereal or something more nutritious?

Your Own Health
The interesting thing that can happen though is that mother's own health gets overlooked.

I was, relatively speaking, "old," when I started my own motherhood job. After age 30, I noticed my body starting to decline but didn't have my first child until I was 35. Sleepless nights and the manual labor involved with the solitary care of little children (husband at work 40 hrs/week & away on business trips) can take its toll on any woman, let alone an "older" mother. I found that in addition to migraines, insomnia and depression/anxiety, I was plagued with catching a cold every few weeks.

Natural Alternatives
Being committed to nursing, I sought out natural alternatives for my health. A supplement helped me (and my children) deal better with colds and viruses. Supplements have helped my husband and kids (and cat) in many ways. Later I found homeopathy which supported my family's health both physically as well as emotionally. You don't have to be "old" for your body to get worn down by mothering. Check out a wonderful book full of natural alternatives: "Nurture Mom", where the author coins the term: Depleted Mother Syndrome.

Western Medicine
If you can't find a natural alternative that works for you, western medicine can be a lifesaver. You don't need to stay miserable, sick and depressed. Sometimes it's more important for a mother to take medications and bottle-feed her baby rather than suffer herself. And it can be better for the rest of the family if mom is feeling healthy and happy.

Diet
The biggest help of all for your health, can be diet. It took me quite awhile to be convinced that one of the major contributors to migraines was chocolate. I just didn't want to give it up! But now I know that sugar, chocolate, wheat, eggs, dairy, soy and nuts aren't good for me. I do better in all ways if I cut back on these foods or stay away from them altogether.

If you're struggling with your own health challenges and can't seem to find a solution, I definitely recommend looking at diet. Refined sugar is the biggest contributor to my own tendency toward depression/anxiety, insomnia and migraines. Sugar is addictive and hard to give up, but if you want to be happy and well, just try cutting out that one thing. Look at labels and try it for 5 days. Won't hurt to see what happens.

Exercise
Exercise is also helpful, and not only for your physical health but for your mental health as well. Even if all you can do is get out for a short 15 minute walk 3 times a week - make it a priority. If you can find a friend to walk with, it will help you commit and will solidify a friendship too because walking and talking go together. There is a yahoo group in Santa Cruz that meets regularly for walks. Check out the yahoo groups on this page or look in Growing Up In Santa Cruz parent newspaper for details.

Helping Yourself Helps Your Family
Caring for your health is so important. It will give you the energy to live your life with joy. Don't worry about spending healing money on yourself - if you're like me, you will use whatever you find to help your kids and husband too.

Here are some health resources:
Supplements: http://www.MannaPages.com/WorkOfHeart (sorry, you'll have to copy and paste, they don't allow linking to them)
Homeopath: http://www.SantaCruzHomeopathy.com
Diet: http://www.TheHealthyWay.us
Doctor (if you don't have health insurance): http://www.SantaCruzDoctor.com
Depleted Mother Syndrome: http://www.NurtureMom.com
Natural Help for Depression: http://breastfeedingmadesimple.com/bms%20new%20home%20page_files/bms%20fats%20happy%20postpartum%201-page.pdf
Depression/Anxiety Supplement - get this through my Books and Links webpage where you can order it through Amazon: http://www.MothersHaveNeedsToo.com/BooksLinks.htm
The naturopath who invented this supplement works in Aptos: Daniel Beilin. His website: http://www.FortifyHealth.com. He offers a free consult and his wife, Carola Cuenca is a homeopath and offers an alternative to mammograms - thermography - which also determines the health of all of your organs. Her website is: http://www.DrCarola.com


Please feel free to email or call me with any questions regarding the above. Also remember that I am a psychotherapist, not a medical doctor, so please contact your own physician prior to making any health decisions.

©2007 Allison Gilbert, M.A., L.M.F.T.; Free Tips
www.MothersHaveNeedsToo.com

Love Yourself

Love Yourself

A Mother's Love
I don't know about you but when my first child was born, I couldn't believe the amount of love I had for him. The love was so grand and immense, it filled my heart to bursting. I couldn't stop looking at him. Even today, when he's 13 years old, I just stare and he gets uncomfortable so I have to look away. I can't show you what my daughter sent me today (an email card) since it's no longer posted. She only sent me a card, not a very big deal and she didn't even write much, but after receiving it, I couldn't stop smiling and marveling at the adorable little being she is at age 9 1/2.

It's so easy to feel loving toward our children. A mother's love for her children
runs deep because it's part of nature's plan. It's the love that helps us get through the toughest times as a parent. The love doesn't even go away when the kids make me mad. Oh, it may go away for a short time, but it comes right back. It's a love unlike any other I have ever experienced.

Loving Ourselves
Most mothers will be able to feel love for their children but have the most difficult time loving themselves. Do you have a difficult time loving yourself? If it's hard for you to care for yourself and make decisions in your own best interest, or if it's hard for you to know your own worth, then you may need to learn how to love yourself.

Practice Loving Yourself
If you know how to love your children but don't know the first thing about loving yourself, the love you have for your children can be a guide. Here's a strange tip, but it works. Imagine kissing your child. See it in your mind's eye and step into your body, looking at your child through your own eyes, bending down and giving a kiss. Next, imagine you are still looking through your own eyes down at yourself from above and imagine kissing yourself with the same love as you do your child. You can do it all in your imagination. Rise above your head, see yourself below and bend down and kiss your own forehead, as you would kiss your own child. Feel how precious you are.

Practice that scene in your mind's eye every day, as often as you can remember it.

Love Your Child, Love Yourself
You may begin to realize that the very quality you love about your child is the very same quality that makes you, you. And then it comes as no surprise that your child is so lovable. Your child, unlike any other being in this world, came from your body. Your child is a part of you walking around outside your body. Where do you think your child's preciousness came from?

©2007 Allison Gilbert, M.A., L.M.F.T.; Free Tips
www.MothersHaveNeedsToo.com

Depend on Your Man

Depend on Your Man

Independence vs Marriage
When I was growing up, I was weaned on Feminism. I was taught that in order to have any power, worth, freedom or dignity in life, I needed to have my own source of income. A career was something I could depend on - it was the prized goal. Those women who went to college to get a marriage license were fools and losers. Becoming an independent woman was the way to have success in life.

The Superwoman
When I became a mother, and stayed home, I felt embarrassed by the question, "Do you work?" I thought that being home with my children meant I wasn't living up to my potential. I had failed to live up to the "superwoman" potential because I knew that some area of my life would be a mess if I tried to run a career at the same time as performing the challenging job of caring for a newborn or toddler.

Security
Still, there was the question of income, freedom, power and worth. How could I live a life of dignity without my own money? Motherhood dumped me into a position of compete and utter dependency. Here I was taking care of a human being who needed me 24/7 and couldn't do anything for himself. How was I going to do what I was told I needed to do for my own security? The only option I could see was to do exactly what I was told not to do: I had to learn how to become dependent on a man! Yikes!

Depending on a Man
Feminism made it hard for women to depend on men. It also sort of took away what had always been a father's role and responsibility to the family. Unless you have your child in daycare or school full-time, or are able to pay for a nanny, there's no way for you to work outside of the home. So, it makes sense for your husband to pick up the slack and support you while you are preoccupied with his child.

It's Good for Him
Allowing yourself to depend on your man gives him a proper place in the family. You help him to mature and grow into his own strength by giving him that responsibility and not letting him off the hook. It can help him to feel needed. It's good for him to have a purpose in life. You and your child can give his life meaning.

You Deserve It
Expect to be taken care of by your husband while you are needing to let go of your paid work for the short time it takes to raise a child or children. It'll be good for the entire family. Your expectation could even send ripples through our society so other mothers remember they deserve to be supported by their men too. Maybe our government will also remember the debt they owe to mothers for what we do for the future of our society. And begin to pay us for it! I can dream big, can't I?

©2007 Allison Gilbert, M.A., L.M.F.T.; Free Tips
www.MothersHaveNeedsToo.com